Breaking the news. Goal Setting. Watch me Rise.

After our breakup, I guess the next part is the informing of our parents that can be quite a challenge. For relationships that involved meeting the parents session, I guess we got ourselves a little explanation to them.

Our relationship have progressed to the point whereby we have met each others parent. Hence, I would say it is only fair that we tell them our breakup. I had initially planned to tell my mum on the night we broke up. However, I backed out at the last minute. I thought i might need some time to be able to phrase it better.

It was only the following day that my mum asked about my ex-girlfriend. We were having dinner and after dinner, we would sit in front of the TV watching news. Coincidentally, the news was flashing something about the new flats that HDB is releasing for the next month.

What followed next was that question. My mum mentioned about home ownership planning with my now ex-girlfriend. And I dropped the bomb. I don't know how shocked my mum was but she just commented about how long our relationship had lasted. Maybe she felt that we could have talked it out?

Nonetheless, my explanation was short and sweet. It's focus quickly switched towards my stability of exams preparation. I assured her, just like i assured my ex-girlfriend, that i will not neglect my studies.

I was telling my friend that this exam preparation had indeed came at a right time probably. My ex-girlfriend could use work to distract her thoughts while i could also numb myself with all the subject guides and lecture notes.

Fast forward a bit, I'm glad I took the baby step in planning our my study calendar today. Including today, I've allocated a minimum of 17 days per module. Hopefully, I could use this time as efficient as possible.

Moving on with a very minimum planning could be disastrous. Which is why I've decided to affirm my plans to as least till the end of the year. Some short-term goal setting could really guide my direction in life a little more.As with most students, I'm concentrated in preparing for my final exams which will end in May 2012.

After which, I would like to start working. I've received advices from experiences that graduated last year that we will not be able to use our bachelor for a job until our graduation is confirmed in earliest, September 2012. While that's the confirmation of graduation, I also found out that the certificate will only be available for collection only in February 2013, which would be next year.

Hence, in anticipation of the news for graduation, I'm prepared to undergo internship opportunities that would give me exposures into certain industry that I'm aiming to go into. Alternatively, I'm also prepared to take up diploma positions which could also be a temporary or full-time position that allows a promotion after which my graduation is confirmed. As when all else fails, I'm still prepared to take up employment with my diploma for full-time positions to accumulate my work experience for up to 1 year.

With regards to relationship issues, I'll leave it to time and nature. But I've prioritized more important issues in front of me for now. Hopefully, I do get to meet my dream girl somewhere in the near future. As mentioned in the middle of my post, I've now allocated the remaining months to revision and I'm not going to blog as much as I had done for the last one week or so.

I thank you readers, whom had read through my thoughts process and I hope my experiences had taught you something or at least brought you some insights. I also like to thank my close friends, brothers whom have accompanied me when I'm was literally feeling the lowest point of my life. I'm recovering slowly from this set-back but surely, I still work towards my goal of financial freedom and a blissful family.

Meetup. The 5 Love Languages. The Friendly Breakup. Take Care

I didn't want to let my mum know of this Cooling-off period so I told her on Sunday night that i will be going to school to study on Monday. After which, i would then travel to meet up my girlfriend. However, a particular lazy person named Wei Hao (me) woke up at 1pm!

It's really quite awkward later in the day when my mum ask me whether I'm going to have dinner at home. Subsequently, I replied: "Yes but I'm going out after dinner." I don't know whether my tone of voice gave me away or the atmosphere got weirdly, my mum instinctively knew something wasn't right maybe? Anyway, I'm going to fast forward this boring issue that happened in the day. I met up with my girlfriend in the evening.

I waited outside her working place since i was early. Looking ever so forward to see her knock off. When the lights in her workplace went off, I knew she's gonna come out. I was having such mixed feelings but i guess it's the time we finally can talk and understand each other more pertaining to this situation.

Once again, the exact details will be confidential but a summarized part of a macro picture can be given. We walked towards the bus-stop to take a bus to her house. This route, I've taken so many times down the years that I thought i could close my eyes and get there! Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, this bus journey felt shorter than i had expected.

I never knew sitting on a bus, with your loved ones besides you can be a simple yet happy feeling. Although the distance the bus traveled is unchanged, I just felt that the last time was a little different. I just couldn't describe the feeling in words. A sense of savory maybe?

Over the conversation, I got to understand more about ourselves. I was introduced this book called: "The 5 love languages" during the seminar by Sean.

I haven't read this book but here's a quick summary by Sean. He mentioned that there are 5 ways that people express their love. They are:

• Words
• Time
• Gifts
• Acts of services
• Physical touch

Each individual can be an unique combination of the above 5. For me, It's clearly words as well as time that is my way of expressing love. To explain this in a clearer picture, I guess my way of saying "I Love You" is more dominantly in the "words" like messaging and direct communication. Alternatively, I'm also somebody whom express love strongly if I choose to give you my "time", It's an act of saying, I treasure you a lot as well.

Although I'm predominantly strong in the first 2, it doesn't mean i neglect the rest. It's just that I'm weak in other areas. Let's say "Gifts" for example, I'm a person that hardly believes in using gifts as a form of expressing love. However, to my knowledge, gifts is always required in any relationships. So you also can't condone the fact that this 5 languages co-exists and finding a balance would probably help.

My girlfriend is probably a person whom fall under the category of "Acts of services" as well as "Physical touch". Act of services means that the person express love through the actions. It can be very small little acts like fetching your girlfriend to work and knock off etc. Lastly, physical touch refers to expressing love through the direct channel of hugging, kissing. The most traditional form of all i presume.

The above information are a brief summary i got from Sean without having read the book. Hence, I might be wrong about certain information but this book does interest me to find out more. I'll probably buy this book and read when i have more time after my exams.

So, coming back to our conversation. I guess it's probably clear by now that we are going to be just friends. The only time I was pushy during our conversation was to affirm her view that my girlfriend doesn't have the desire to make things work anymore. Her decision was final and the moment of truth came. I later found out that she had initially wanted to talk about the breakup after my exams so that it doesn't affect my studies.

Here's a message for now my Ex-girlfriend:

"For confirming everything, I really thank you, girlfriend. It really sets a sense of relief into me and I'm also happy to be of relief to you to accept this breakup maturely. You would have thought that I might not be able to take this breakup if it comes at this period before my exams. But do not worry much, I'm always a person whom can prioritize my decisions well. I promised that I'll work hard for the remaining months to come.

Moving on probably need some time just like you also require time to inform everybody. I'm glad that we could still be friends. After all, I really got used to you taking charge of cutting my hair. I guess it will take some time before i can start finding another hairstylist as professional and as caring about my hair style other than you.

They say friendship survives best when there is reciprocity. I would like to add a "matrimony of benefits" onto the list. I'll definitely like to have a friend whom is a hairstylist. I don't know what benefits i can offer you yet but I'm sure you might find a friend like me useful in the future to come.

I look forward to seeing you again. As a friend of course. And for the last time that I'm going to say this. I love you, Girlfriend. Take Care."

Phone Call. The Meetup. Face the Truth. I Love You.

On Saturday night, I just couldn't get to sleep. Although I've woke up at 7 am in the morning and attending one whole day of seminar, I just wasn't able to get into the mood to sleep. I was thinking how long has it been since we last talked over the phone. Clearly, I missed her voice. It was around 1 am but i still asked myself: "Should i call her now?"

Eventually, I called my girlfriend. She answered in a very calm tone. And we talked. Again, I'm not going into the exact details here due to privacy matters but what I'm going to do is to summarize a macro picture here. There was an instant chill running down my spine. The words she spoke were no longer kind to our situation.

I felt a change in her overall attitude. I didn't know what exactly changed it but it seems like she's finally gotten influenced by peers maybe? Here, I must do a little explanation as a side-track. I'm not trying to focus on our inequality but there is a difference in our surroundings. I'm brought up in a very study-oriented environment. I have good feelings towards academic importance, money and future. On the other hand, my girlfriend isn't very study-oriented. In fact, she can be consider part of the group that "hate studying" and her focus is ever to make ends meet. In short, She's very into the present value in accounting terms whereby I'm always the one whom have the future value as the more important aspect.

 

So, returning back to our conversation. I felt a changed in her perception. My girlfriend have always been a neutral party (at least from my point of view) that despite some opinions about our "incompatibility", we always believed that we could work out our differences. This is one of the pointers I believed kept us going for so long.

However, from the way she now spoke, I could hear that she accepted our differences as a much tougher challenge. Will there be a relationship that can't breach such inequality? Do give me some advices.

Anyway, I felt disappointed. A little let-down in fact. I thought for the last few days, am I the only person that's trying hard to improve our relationship? Maybe, maybe not. Irregardless, I actually requested a meetup so that we could talk properly. Once again, It's on a monday and It'll mark exactly a week since we entered this Cooling-off period.

I felt a little bad as this request would seems like I'm trying to end this Cooling-off period which i had agreed to give her. Nonetheless, the fact that with things turning out like this, I've received advices that it's a good time to talk. After-all, do we really intend to keep silent all the way till when? Someone got to start the ball rolling again i guessed.

Besides, this meetup would be crucial as a run-in for my exams preparations. Time is ticking by and for the last whole week, despite me posting my most optimism side, I've not touched my notes and books at all. Tomorrow, which is Tuesday, I should be in school doing my revision. I've decided that I had given myself enough excuse to NOT STUDY.

To be frank, I do not know how this meet up session will turn out but I've received lots of support from my brothers and friends. When it's time to face it, I shall accept whatever that might come. It's been a roller coaster week for me in terms of emotional and psychological stress. I hope i could subdue this or end this stress if possible and focus on my exams first.

 

If more time permits, I do hope we can sort out our differences or misunderstandings and maybe, just maybe we could get back again together. I still love my girlfriend. It's just that I've accepted the fact that I'm a boring but stable guy if i might conclude myself. Whatever happens, I promise not to accept a breakup hesitantly. That much, I trust i could still do.