I had a urge to head over to visit my girlfriend after i finished my VIOS seminar in the evening today. It's one of those days that I just don't felt like going home on a Saturday evening! My mind kept asking: "Surely, there's something you could do?"
I was walking towards the circle line MRT while still pondering as the same time. However, I stopped after facing a Dunkin' Donut Shop. Normally, You would have thought of buying some donuts and bring it as a gift to visit her. Not me though.
The reason was that I had more experiences getting rejected for such effort. Again, I'm not trying to picture a victimization here. It's just some thoughts and facts that i need to face. I don't know how many of you readers have girlfriends whom they themselves have close guy friends whom 'take good care' of them, sometimes even out-doing what you as your boyfriend did?
Alright, a example might help explaining here. My girlfriend has such a guy friend that both of them are rather close. It's sort of like those god-brother, god-sister relationship whereby you can probably explain why they're caring for each other more than friends. Sometimes, This person would do surprise visits to my girlfriend's workplace just to deliver food and snacks.
Snacks like donuts, cream puff, beancurd etc. Anything tasty and famous, he'll definitely bring it to my girlfriend. Now, I know this might turn out sour here but please believe me that I'm writing this with a rational attitude here and I'm purely looking for advices if you have similar experiences.
I personally know this guy as well. In fact, He is a childhood friend of my girlfriend whom they've known for 20 years and counting. I guess as some point in time, I have stopped seeing this gentleman as a threat. But rather, it's the action of this friend that I'm slowly afraid.
Now that everything is on hindsight, I could see that I was actually up against a rather strong 'opposition' to impress my girlfriend. In terms of efficiency, I probably didn't bring enough tasty food as fast as he do. On occasions when i did finally brought my girlfriend to a place where i thought it's nice, I got a less than impressive view from my girlfriend.
Although she did put her words into nicer ways, it still doesn't change the fact that i got disappointed. Her typical response was kinda hurtful, probably unconsciously from her point of view. And here's how she always reply me: "This (place) is not bad. But (Childhood friend) say got a better place than this. Next time ask him to bring us there."
Do tell me how should i react to such a well-thought or well-versed reply without feeling the disappointment? I do know that my girlfriend doesn't really meant to spike me by comparing us. But i can only conclude that she's doing that subconsciously. It doesn't sound gentlemanly to ask my girlfriend to stop listening to what everything this guy has to say. But I can't really do much but to accept this, am I?
Although I might have picture a form of victimization or that a jealously spat, I hope you still see where I'm coming from. Let me reiterated that this post isn't about how jealous i had become of this guy but rather, How I COULD TELL MYSELF TO ACCEPT and DEAL with such problems. I'm sure this isn't some rocket science problem and do share with me if you have any advices.
Once again, I'm using a positive attitude in viewing this situation. I'm sure that each relationship does have some sort of "third-party". Whether they are overt or covert, as guys, i believe we should deal with this as it seems fit.
I shall accept this all as a challenge to improve myself as a better boyfriend. Do help me, my brothers and friends.
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