Phone Call. The Meetup. Face the Truth. I Love You.

On Saturday night, I just couldn't get to sleep. Although I've woke up at 7 am in the morning and attending one whole day of seminar, I just wasn't able to get into the mood to sleep. I was thinking how long has it been since we last talked over the phone. Clearly, I missed her voice. It was around 1 am but i still asked myself: "Should i call her now?"

Eventually, I called my girlfriend. She answered in a very calm tone. And we talked. Again, I'm not going into the exact details here due to privacy matters but what I'm going to do is to summarize a macro picture here. There was an instant chill running down my spine. The words she spoke were no longer kind to our situation.

I felt a change in her overall attitude. I didn't know what exactly changed it but it seems like she's finally gotten influenced by peers maybe? Here, I must do a little explanation as a side-track. I'm not trying to focus on our inequality but there is a difference in our surroundings. I'm brought up in a very study-oriented environment. I have good feelings towards academic importance, money and future. On the other hand, my girlfriend isn't very study-oriented. In fact, she can be consider part of the group that "hate studying" and her focus is ever to make ends meet. In short, She's very into the present value in accounting terms whereby I'm always the one whom have the future value as the more important aspect.

 

So, returning back to our conversation. I felt a changed in her perception. My girlfriend have always been a neutral party (at least from my point of view) that despite some opinions about our "incompatibility", we always believed that we could work out our differences. This is one of the pointers I believed kept us going for so long.

However, from the way she now spoke, I could hear that she accepted our differences as a much tougher challenge. Will there be a relationship that can't breach such inequality? Do give me some advices.

Anyway, I felt disappointed. A little let-down in fact. I thought for the last few days, am I the only person that's trying hard to improve our relationship? Maybe, maybe not. Irregardless, I actually requested a meetup so that we could talk properly. Once again, It's on a monday and It'll mark exactly a week since we entered this Cooling-off period.

I felt a little bad as this request would seems like I'm trying to end this Cooling-off period which i had agreed to give her. Nonetheless, the fact that with things turning out like this, I've received advices that it's a good time to talk. After-all, do we really intend to keep silent all the way till when? Someone got to start the ball rolling again i guessed.

Besides, this meetup would be crucial as a run-in for my exams preparations. Time is ticking by and for the last whole week, despite me posting my most optimism side, I've not touched my notes and books at all. Tomorrow, which is Tuesday, I should be in school doing my revision. I've decided that I had given myself enough excuse to NOT STUDY.

To be frank, I do not know how this meet up session will turn out but I've received lots of support from my brothers and friends. When it's time to face it, I shall accept whatever that might come. It's been a roller coaster week for me in terms of emotional and psychological stress. I hope i could subdue this or end this stress if possible and focus on my exams first.

 

If more time permits, I do hope we can sort out our differences or misunderstandings and maybe, just maybe we could get back again together. I still love my girlfriend. It's just that I've accepted the fact that I'm a boring but stable guy if i might conclude myself. Whatever happens, I promise not to accept a breakup hesitantly. That much, I trust i could still do.