Effort. Or Not

The next time I went into my girlfriend's profile and this was her profile picture. I guess that gives my relationship problem further daylight for the readers. YES, Effort. The only word that repeats and stands itself out from the text.

In my opinion, Effort is a subjective matter. How much effort does it require for a certain action is sufficient? It's been a question that i have been asking myself after we finished our conversation which led to this Cooling-Off period.

I did some comparison around my closed friends and here's what i thought i opt to do. This friend of mine was able to wake up early in the morning (even though it was his off day) just to accompany his girlfriend to take a public transport to her school. Impressive?

I find that a trait of a extremely good guy. Perfect if i may conclude. While most of us will start looking at issues like, "Maybe the guy stays near his girlfriend" or "Maybe the girlfriend demanded such treatment"

You see the point? We (or at least I) immediately gone into a state of denial and started weighing the actual distance of their houses of this 2 person. The focus of issue changed. Cost benefit analysis is what most of us would have done in this situation by nature.

I asked myself, does doing Cost-Benefit analysis diminishes the value of effort? Or does it make you choose your time and action wisely? I'm sure this friend of mine does Cost-benefit at some point when he does this everyday for his girlfriend.

But, the point I'm trying to bring across is that this friend was able to convince himself that regardless of what's the cost, He is able to put his girlfriend first. It's like a situation whereby: "There's no point in doing Cost-Benefit analysis if you know you just have to keep doing it. Don't ya?"

I've got to comment his mentality that of a great boyfriend. And his effort of doing and most importantly, sustaining it over a period of time is really remarkable and respectable from me. Comparing myself to him, there's just this question i have in mind: "So where is my level of effort if this is the benchmark of 100%?"

One sentence my girlfriend mentioned in the midst of the conversation was this: "There can never be a value for everything." And for me, there's this problem trying to put a value to even such things. Why do i always try to act mechanical and treat things in a causal effect? Haven't we all experienced that Love isn't something that we can easily weight and measure?

As mentioned in my previous post, I took up the responsibility of having to send this relationship into a Cooling-Off period. It isn't useful anymore to debate whether my effort was there from the beginning or did that diminishes over time. That was all part of history.

For now, it's actually the stage of remorse and reflection. Whatever that had happened, shall be taken into me and hopefully, i could work towards meeting the future expectations of my girlfriend. What i do need, is a benchmark. This benchmark shall serves at as minimum effort that i should put in for our relationship. And to start it off, I'm glad that i was able to find a friend whom does readily provide a from of role model for me.

"Pick and learn" should be my motto for now. After all, taking a case of success stories and learning pointers does help people grow exponentially, don't they? Would you rather have read a book to self-study or choose to fellow a mentor? 

Do take a little time to review this sentence and reconcile to network effect. I might be able to find a right formula for a healthy relationship i guess.